You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

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You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby The Old Man of Storr on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:16 am

Being a bit of a Joker I decided to count the number of scars on my body and remember how they got there .

1. First scar arrived aged around 8 when I fell from a tree and landed on a piece of wood sticking out of the ground - about a centimetre in length just below the knee .

2 . My second scar around 12 inches arrived aged 13 when I had my right kidney removed - looks like a shark took a chunk out of my side or some mad surgeon used a double bladed stanley knife to do the job .

3. Third scar came when I had an operation on three of my lower discs in 2011 - about 4 inches long .

4. Fourth scar arrved when I pulled out some willow herb and the woody stem went straight into my leg creating a hole that Robin Hood might have been proud of .

5 . 4 scars on my abdomen , all 1 inch in length after I had my gallbladder out in 2016 .

6. Saved the nastiest till last - a cut the shape of an upside down ' U ' with a piece of skin missing the size of a 50p piece at the top measuring around 8 inches all in all - right leg - caused by me falling backwards while bringing a sackbarrow containing 3 sacks of coal down our garden slope

So , 9 scars altogether .

Should have got me a part in ' Jaws ' . :)

How many you got then ?
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Clucking Bell on Tue Nov 20, 2018 2:36 am

1. An inch-long scar covered by my right eyebrow caused by swinging on the school gate and forgetting about the stop.

2. A V-shaped job about two inched long across my left thumb. ****ing about with the hose off of a fly-tipped hoover.

3. Craft knife stab wound in left hand, 1980 Cup semi-final at Villa Park.

4. Lump with a sort of divot in it about 1.5 inches above my left eye. Same incident. As our Glaswegian friends would have it, I stuck ma' heid on him and a bit of broken tooth got stuck in my swede.

5. Burn mark across my left bicep. Welding upside down while wearing short sleeves.

6. Tiny scar on scrotum. I got rucked over by a seventeen stone prop forward who contrived to stand on my testicles whilst wearing aluminium studs. Didn't hurt that much but, I bled like a stuck pig.

7. Big scar on my left big toe where they removed a gout related tophus ..... about as nice as it sounds.

8, 9 & 10. Three cm or so long scars on my left hip where a surgeon thought he could fix my ****ed hip.

11. A nine inch scar where a different surgeon gave me a new hip.

I've also got a fair few micro scars on my arms and legs from bike crashes but, I've always been pretty bouncy there.

I'm actually quite pleased that only about sixty percent of my scars can be put down to stupidity.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby kayahammer on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:56 am

1 inch scar on left shin from motorcycle accident (17 years old)

A scar the size of a penny on right thigh from same accident (piece of cassette I had in thigh pocket embedded in thigh)

Various other small scars on legs from playing Sunday League football on a pitch with hidden flint.

That's about it. Only 2 really
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Hammers Dad on Tue Nov 20, 2018 12:41 pm

From the top:

1. Above left eye - caused by a tippex bottle when I worked in a lab. I forgot to duck or catch.
2. Top lip - brother threw a bamboo cane at me when I was about 8
3. Under chin - smacked it on the sandpit at school when about 4 or 5
4. Chest - small cigarette burn scar when I fell asleep with a fag in my gob.
5. Left palm - stuck my hand on a rock during FIBUA training.
6. Left thumb - burn mark from a electric shock
7. Right thumb - small scar though can't remember how. Looking at it, it was a bit flappy so knife probably.
8. Left arse cheek - Operation to remove a lump. Small scar turned much bigger when it split after stitches removed
9. Right shin - took a lump out when going over a 12 foot wall during my selection weekend with 4RGJ
10. Left foot - dropped a knife and went straight into my foot.

I think that's it, though I may update this when I have a good look!

11. Forgot my appendix scar!
Last edited by Hammers Dad on Tue Nov 20, 2018 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby James P on Tue Nov 20, 2018 12:43 pm

I have a prominent scar on my left cheek as a result of falling over when I was four years old straight onto the corner of a brick wall and tearing my face open.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby S-H on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:13 pm

Bridge of my nose - Someone was jealous of it, and did their best job to flatten it.

Have a scar of some sorts where I had my hood chopped off as a youngster, that's a one the ladies didn't want to see for some reason.

A whole section of my back looks like someone played naughts and crosses on my skin, fell down a grass bank when I was teen, and straight into a barbed wire fence, did that ****ing sting or what!

Probably a few more, but I can't remember how I did them.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby BalaamBoy on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:14 pm

Mine are all very minor . . .

1. Small crescent moon scar on thumb caused during game of 'sit around a desk and chuck knives at it to see which sticks in' - it's a wonder any of us survived our teenage years

2. Small straight scar in left eye-brow, the result of a hidden-stone-in-a-snowball (accidental)

3. Small scar on ear-lobe inflicted upon me by brother when we were chasing each other around the house and he closed the kitchen door on me, and the door catch caught me on the side of the head. I would have been six or seven.

4. Three inch long vertical scar on head from hairline backwards. Swinging on the branch of a tree and not aware of the twiggy bit sticking out . . .

All a bit pathetic really. Nothing at all since turning 15. Not planning on any either . . . .
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:48 pm

Scar on eyebrow falling over & twatting head on a kerbstone as a toddler
Scar on the side of the head that resembles a bad soviet union flag after suffering a fractured skull at the age of 5 (Who knew not to run out between 2 parked cars?)
Scar above right knee after running into a stack of metal window frames. (Must look where I'm going)
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby sicknote on Tue Nov 20, 2018 1:55 pm

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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby NW5hammer on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:01 pm

1. 4 cm scar on left palm when brother came for me with a carving knife (aged 12?)
2. 2 cm scar on top of left hand from opening oysters on Christmas Day 2008
3. 3 cm scar on right thumb from operation to insert metal rod after cycle accident broke the digit: 'poacher's thumb'
4. Appendix (aged 14)
5. Piratical notch to top lip (car door opened on me while cycling home - so drunk i didn't get it stitched)
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Estuary on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:06 pm

Top down.

Two on the top of my head. One about half an inch long from my brother hitting me with a hammer, two, also on my head about two inches long was from being hit with half brick in a fight.
Three I have a scar above my right eye about an inch long from a rock thrown at me at point blank range, and four an obvious broken nose from a punch off my then girl friend who couldn't handle her booze and got into a clinch with a guy she knew I hated at a party, she tried to make up with the promise of all sorts and asked if I would dance with her, I refused, she belted me in the face.
Five I have a three inch scar under my right armpit from a biopsy that went tits up when the growth the Dr wanted to remove turned out to be much much bigger than he had diagnosed, which led to the pain killing injections of local anesthetic wearing off half way through the procedure, that ****ing hurt that did. Growth was benign though, which was a bonus.
Six, lower abdomen, two small incision scar's from vasectomy. Seven, five inch long scar from cartilage op, seven, small scar on the opposite side of the left knee where they looked to see if that side was also ****ed, and then drained the fluids during the op.
Eight and two inch long scar on right knee cap from a tackle by Ray Hunt during a football match, knee opened up.
Nine, old 50 p sized scar's on both knees as a result of infection following Osgood Schlatters disease in both knees, the infections were nasty and required surgery.

Ten, eleven, twelve, various impact injury scras on my shins from football related ****.

Thirteen (how apt) a cigarette burn sized scar from a bullet. My pal and I were shot at in retaliation by some of our lovable traveler friends during a long running bit of grief, one round went through his calf and hit me on the leg knocking my feet from under me and lodging in my lower leg. It's not the most painful thing I ever experienced, kidney stones wins that award by a mile, but it certainly focused my mind like nothing else, the whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion. My mate actually got to his feet and tried to run after the car a it drove off, brave definitely, but given we were at a distinct disadvantage in numbers of working legs, and also "arms" wise , he was ****ing stupid.

I think that's all of them.

(not forgetting of course we have all got a million emotional scars to our hearts and minds)
Last edited by Estuary on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Mega Ron on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:08 pm

You lot should take care of yourselves a bit better.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby Dover KUMB fan on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:18 pm

While on the subject, your mum has one either side of her snatch where I proper ruined her! :scarfer:
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby SoulCircus on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:20 pm

For various reasons, I am very heavily scarred.

1). Burnt my leg on the engine of one those kids motorbikes you used to get at the fair. Got my braking all wrong, leg was wedged between my bike and another stationary one. Scar probably 4cms across.

2) Ran through a glass door aged 9, at my uncles house. Was chasing my sister after an argument, ran upstairs, she slammed the door in my face and I went straight through the top section of frosted glass. 4 stitches in my right forearm, 9 in my left bicep.

3) Had severe acne in my late teens, so my upper back is quite pockmarked.

4) Had a long period of self-harm in my twenties with various implements. Left my upper arms on both sides and parts of my chest a bit of a wreck.

5) Had a mole removed on my left arm, they didn't get all of it first time so had to dig out some more tissue. Right next to my BCG scar so there's not much unblemished skin up there these days!

6) Sliced through the tip of my finger with a bread knife a couple of years back. Scar is tiny but I don't have much feeling in that finger anymore.

And possibly a few more I've forgotten...
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby S-H on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:35 pm

Dover KUMB fan wrote:While on the subject, your mum has one either side of her snatch where I proper ruined her! :scarfer:



Grow up you div..

There's no place for 'your mum' jokes on this forum.. apparently..

:wink:
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby BalaamBoy on Tue Nov 20, 2018 3:43 pm

Estuary wrote:Top down.

Two on the top of my head. One about half an inch long from my brother hitting me with a hammer, two, also on my head about two inches long was from being hit with half brick in a fight.
Three I have a scar above my right eye about an inch long from a rock thrown at me at point blank range, and four an obvious broken nose from a punch off my then girl friend who couldn't handle her booze and got into a clinch with a guy she knew I hated at a party, she tried to make up with the promise of all sorts and asked if I would dance with her, I refused, she belted me in the face.
Five I have a three inch scar under my right armpit from a biopsy that went tits up when the growth the Dr wanted to remove turned out to be much much bigger than he had diagnosed, which led to the pain killing injections of local anesthetic wearing off half way through the procedure, that ****ing hurt that did. Growth was benign though, which was a bonus.
Six, lower abdomen, two small incision scar's from vasectomy. Seven, five inch long scar from cartilage op, seven, small scar on the opposite side of the left knee where they looked to see if that side was also ****ed, and then drained the fluids during the op.
Eight and two inch long scar on right knee cap from a tackle by Ray Hunt during a football match, knee opened up.
Nine, old 50 p sized scar's on both knees as a result of infection following Osgood Schlatters disease in both knees, the infections were nasty and required surgery.

Ten, eleven, twelve, various impact injury scras on my shins from football related ****.

Thirteen (how apt) a cigarette burn sized scar from a bullet. My pal and I were shot at in retaliation by some of our lovable traveler friends during a long running bit of grief, one round went through his calf and hit me on the leg knocking my feet from under me and lodging in my lower leg. It's not the most painful thing I ever experienced, kidney stones wins that award by a mile, but it certainly focused my mind like nothing else, the whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion. My mate actually got to his feet and tried to run after the car a it drove off, brave definitely, but given we were at a distinct disadvantage in numbers of working legs, and also "arms" wise , he was ****ing stupid.

I think that's all of them.

(not forgetting of course we have all got a million emotional scars to our hearts and minds)


Bloody Hell Estuary!! You must look like a watering can when you have a cup of tea!
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby HalfTimePie on Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:04 pm

My best scar is on the side of my head, nice one and a half/two inch gash from when I was 8, my brother took a back swing with a gold club and I thought it would be a good idea to walk behind him. Straight into the side of my head, cracked my skull and has two weeks in hospital.

I dropped hot oil from a pan on my feet and have almost matching scars on each one

Around 7 scars from two knee surgeries, the best of the bunch is from my ACL reconstruction, they gave me the long one down the middle where they used part of my patella tendon.

Iron burn on my hand because its clearly not a mans job.

I have quite a few smaller ones from cuts as a kids that I used to pick off because I wasn't weird at all.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby the pink palermo on Tue Nov 20, 2018 4:12 pm

Estuary wrote:Thirteen (how apt) a cigarette burn sized scar from a bullet.


Winner.

Remind me never to spill your pint.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby prophet:marginal on Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:51 pm

SoulCircus wrote:
2) Ran through a glass door aged 9, at my uncles house. Was chasing my sister after an argument, ran upstairs, she slammed the door in my face and I went straight through the top section of frosted glass. 4 stitches in my right forearm, 9 in my left bicep.



Had a door slammed on me, whilst putting one hand up, but looking the other way. 25 stitches on my little finger, further to a stunned realisation that the bone was visible through the injury, a somewhat surprising (for her) journey in an ambulance, past my mum's workplace, and a long wait (even back then) in A+E.

The stitches got taken out about 3 weeks later.
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Re: You Wanna Know How I Got These Scars ?

Postby vietnammer on Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:59 pm

From rdading this, the average KUMB member must look like:

https://blotterpaper.files.wordpress.co ... nstein.jpg
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