My name is .... and I'm ....

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: Rio, Gnome, chalks, -DL-, bristolhammerfc, the pink palermo

My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby V-M on Wed May 01, 2019 8:55 am

V-M - an Alcoholic.

I guess alcoholics come in different shapes and sizes from ones spending their life in pubs to those who wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is pour a drink. Me? I am the one who comes home from work or whatever I've been doing at the weekend, open a beer which then leads into a bottle of wine, sometimes two.

Its been happening for as long as I can remember, its just a comfort thing but when I look at the health issues, the money spent, the effect on my family it really isn't worth it. In fact, it seems that the thought of drinking is far better than the actual experience itself. Bad day at work? Buy some wine, that'll make it better. Good day at work? Buy some wine, I'm in a great mood. No day at work? Buy some wine anyway. I don't get argumentative or aggressive when drinking, it just puts me in a 'zone' where I can get away from it all. The irony is I don't like being in that zone anymore, but it seems impossible to stay away. I hate it.The ever decreasing circle, waking up in the middle of the night hating myself and not being able to get back to sleep. Feeling knackered the following day and going through the same routine again.

Anyway, day one was yesterday. First dry day this year. I don't even know why I'm telling you but I've heard its good to put your hand up and admit your demons.
User avatar
V-M
 
Posts: 9668
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:45 pm

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby EvilC on Wed May 01, 2019 9:04 am

VM - good luck to you. Well done on taking the first steps forward. We're in your corner (well, I am, I'm sort of assuming everyone else is). :thup:
User avatar
EvilC
 
Posts: 10183
Joined: Sun Jul 25, 2004 5:54 pm
Location: In the street as the cold wind blows, in the ghetto...

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Patito on Wed May 01, 2019 9:04 am

I wish you the best of luck in kicking the booze mate :crest:
User avatar
Patito
 
Posts: 8762
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 1:51 pm
Location: Irons

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Clacton-ammer on Wed May 01, 2019 9:13 am

Best of British to you VM, good luck :thup:
User avatar
Clacton-ammer
Sultan of Swing
 
Posts: 11203
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:28 am

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Monkey Mike on Wed May 01, 2019 9:46 am

Takes some balls to admit it, takes even bigger balls to do something about it.

I've always found this site incredibly supportive, whether it's giving someone some time or some sage words in the bad times, or celebrating their successes and lauding their achievements in the good. In your case maybe it's a bit of both. Everyone on here will be backing you and supporting you as well as congratulating you for sticking it out.

Good luck mate :thup:
User avatar
Monkey Mike
 
Posts: 5667
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2005 12:44 am
Location: Sunny Sandwich

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Hammers Dad on Wed May 01, 2019 10:10 am

Many many years ago, I was in the same sort of position, though maybe not as bad.
I was down the pub every day. What the hell, I was young, free and single!
I got a new job after being out of work for a few weeks and realised I couldn't get through the first day without popping into the pub a few doors down. That scared me.
I stopped drinking from that day. It was hard, very very hard.
It was 5 years before I had my next alcoholic drink, on my wedding day.
I have managed to keep it under control, I very rarely drink now and when I do I know when to stop. That said, it's always bubbling under the surface but I have been really lucky.

I hope you have every success in managing your intake.
User avatar
Hammers Dad
 
Posts: 5978
Joined: Wed Jun 28, 2006 9:37 pm
Location: Loving being the boss....

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby AlfieG on Wed May 01, 2019 10:12 am

You have taken a major first step on your journey.

Well done and the very best of luck to you.... It will be worth it. :thup:

Now go and do it.
User avatar
AlfieG
 
Posts: 4656
Joined: Fri Dec 06, 2002 3:20 am
Location: London

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Puff Daddy on Wed May 01, 2019 10:39 am

This is something that has never beset me, what man doesn't like a noggin now and again ? but I'm not going to pontificate about the effects of drink, because I'm not a pontif myself. I can take it or leave it, but I genuinely wish you every ounce of luck in dealing with your issue
User avatar
Puff Daddy
Gone for a Burton
 
Posts: 23736
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:08 pm
Location: Westham Way

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Mega Ron on Wed May 01, 2019 10:53 am

I haven't had anything to drink since Sunday and I would say my usual routine is to drink Friday to Sunday. Mainly a few cans of beer each evening and sometimes a couple of glasses of wine as well.

Recently I started taking a can of beer with me when I walk the dog in the evening without anyone knowing.

My wife has ordained that we both drink less at weekends so when she is putting the kids to bed I'll fill my boots then.

I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic but I could definitely get there.
User avatar
Mega Ron
 
Posts: 9432
Joined: Thu Nov 30, 2006 3:35 pm
Location: Warp's mum

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby -DL- on Wed May 01, 2019 10:57 am

Mega Ron wrote:My wife has ordained that we both drink less at weekends so when she is putting the kids to bed I'll fill my boots then.

I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic but I could definitely get there.


Can never tell with you when you're ****ing about or not, but if the first line is true, where you're sneaking booze in when she puts the kids to bed, then to be fair mate, there's a chance that you're already there in regards to the second line I've quoted.

Keep an eye on it mate, because it creeps up on you without you knowing.

Good luck VM, you've made the first step :thup:
User avatar
-DL-
Match thread guru
 
Posts: 19593
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:43 am
Location: Biting my tongue so hard it's starting to bleed.

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby ageing hammer on Wed May 01, 2019 11:06 am

Good luck VM hope you can keep going mate. :thup:
User avatar
ageing hammer
 
Posts: 18965
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:04 am
Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby V-M on Wed May 01, 2019 11:06 am

Thanks guys, its appreciated.

Ive been known to buy a bottle plus a couple of those little ones and keep them hidden, just top up the big bottle when no one is looking.

I will not let this control me anymore.
User avatar
V-M
 
Posts: 9668
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:45 pm

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby smuts on Wed May 01, 2019 11:12 am

All the best VM! :thup:
User avatar
smuts
 
Posts: 21560
Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 10:28 am
Location: East, East, East London

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Balhamite on Wed May 01, 2019 11:22 am

Well done VM, a great first step, and probably the hardest one.

Not been in the same position as you, but I can sort of understand how you end up there, as I love wine, and find it a stress reliever. I could/would drink every day if I had the time. A bottle or two, no problem. On holiday, I do.

But I have kids, a demanding job, and lots of other commitments and interests that take up that time, so I find it easier to abstain.

Dry days are the way forward. 2 or 3 in a row and I feel so much better. And then when I do have a bottle of wine (say on a Friday night) I enjoy it so much more.

Exercise also helps me. I play football on a Tuesday night, so no drinking then. I also never drink on Mondays, a rule that really helps me. So 2 days dry right there.

Recently I have started doing Parkrun on Saturday mornings, and I sometimes don't drink on a Friday night so I can enjoy the Saturday run. Then a drink on a Saturday night feels great!

Please ignore all of the above if you intend to not drink at all going forward. That would be even better for you, if that is your preferred outcome.

Stay strong. One day at a time.
Balhamite
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:13 pm

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby last.caress on Wed May 01, 2019 11:30 am

A brave post, VM.

V-M wrote:I don't even know why I'm telling you


I guess maybe you've opened up on this because you might feel more determined to stick to what you need to do to combat it, now that people are rooting for you. And everyone here is certainly rooting for you, mate.

:kumb:
User avatar
last.caress
Extreme w*nker
 
Posts: 12644
Joined: Fri Nov 24, 2006 12:38 am
Location: Se incontri L'ultima.carezza, prega per la tua morte.

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby ageing hammer on Wed May 01, 2019 11:33 am

I need to vent, sorry for long post,

My second son has been drinking large bottles of whiskey, wine and dozens of cans daily for the last two years. He works Thursdays Fridays 6-9 pm and all day Sat and Sunday but is off Mon Tues and Wednesdays which are the days he drinks most. He locks himself into his bedroom and won't come out. He refuses to interact with the rest of us and usually eats in his bedroom ( mostly takeaways delivered ) and there must be 100 empty bottles and dozens of half eaten takeaways in his room. I have tried everything to get him to stop but he is still in denial. He refuses to clean up his room but an odd time he does manage to get it cleaned up a bit. We managed to get him to a doctor who said he was depressed and gave him tablets ( can't remember what ones ) but he only got worse. She checked his liver and said it was ok. We took him back again a few months later the doctor had left and the new doc took him off the tablets saying he shouldn't have been on them. We had made an appointment for a councellor but he refused to go, still in denial. We tried tough love but it didn't work. He sleeps all day and drinks all night and is a physical wreck at 27 years old. He dropped out of college 4 years ago and we have asked him countless times why is he depressed and drinking so much but he keeps denying anything is wrong. He is due an operation on 16th May to realign his jaw so his braces ( wearing them ten bloody years ) can be removed and we are hoping this boosts his confidence. He is also deaf in one ear so we are getting him hearing aids in the coming months ( from my audiologist ) so we hope this also helps him. I know I will be told we are enabling him and should throw him out but we went through similar with our eldest boy who used to get violent from alcohol and smash up the house and anyone in his path. He is fine now 5 years without trouble and turned his life around has twin girls and living with partner and working so all good now. This is driving me and my family insane, we went to al anon all they offered was to join hands and pray for him. No matter where we turn we are told he has to help himself and I understand that but he isn't going to do it and I know some day I will find him dead.

I am sorry but I needed for two years to get this off my chest, I have had ten years of similar **** and been through a lot of trouble too much to go into here. How our marraige has survived I don't know and my mental state has been poor a long time even though I might come across as happy. I have had plenty counselling to help me but right now I am looking at my dear son slowly drinking himself into the grave or worse if he keeps going down.

I have a million tears shed for my boy and all I have inside is sadness because I cannot fix him.

I am not posting this for thumbs up support I just wanted to tell someone, anyone and you lot are it.
User avatar
ageing hammer
 
Posts: 18965
Joined: Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:04 am
Location: Cockney Hammer's stunt double

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby woodgreenspur on Wed May 01, 2019 11:43 am

V-M wrote:V-M - an Alcoholic.

I guess alcoholics come in different shapes and sizes from ones spending their life in pubs to those who wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is pour a drink. Me? I am the one who comes home from work or whatever I've been doing at the weekend, open a beer which then leads into a bottle of wine, sometimes two.

Its been happening for as long as I can remember, its just a comfort thing but when I look at the health issues, the money spent, the effect on my family it really isn't worth it. In fact, it seems that the thought of drinking is far better than the actual experience itself. Bad day at work? Buy some wine, that'll make it better. Good day at work? Buy some wine, I'm in a great mood. No day at work? Buy some wine anyway. I don't get argumentative or aggressive when drinking, it just puts me in a 'zone' where I can get away from it all. The irony is I don't like being in that zone anymore, but it seems impossible to stay away. I hate it.The ever decreasing circle, waking up in the middle of the night hating myself and not being able to get back to sleep. Feeling knackered the following day and going through the same routine again.

Anyway, day one was yesterday. First dry day this year. I don't even know why I'm telling you but I've heard its good to put your hand up and admit your demons.

Good luck mate.
My mate has been dry since January.I didn't even know he had a problem,till i heard he was inside.
To be honest,i didn't he have him down as a big drinker
Another acquaintance was even more surprising as he only drank a couple of pints when were out,if that.He told when he went dry(been at least 6 years now) ,that what the rest of the world didn't see was the bottles of whisky he drank at work and home when no one was about.
The alcoholic are not always the obvious people as portrayed on TV etc
Last edited by woodgreenspur on Wed May 01, 2019 2:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
woodgreenspur
 
Posts: 3160
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 6:29 pm
Location: Wood green, London

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby fjthegrey on Wed May 01, 2019 11:50 am

-DL- wrote:Can never tell with you when you're ****ing about or not, but if the first line is true, where you're sneaking booze in when she puts the kids to bed, then to be fair mate, there's a chance that you're already there in regards to the second line I've quoted.

Keep an eye on it mate, because it creeps up on you without you knowing.

Alcohol is the least of his concerns.

Need keep him away from the magnums.

I had 3 tequila slammers on my lunch break yesterday. Sometimes that's just how it has to go.
User avatar
fjthegrey
 
Posts: 18860
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Once More Unto The Cheese

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby Turns to Stone on Wed May 01, 2019 1:57 pm

ageing hammer wrote:I need to vent, sorry for long post,

My second son has been drinking large bottles of whiskey, wine and dozens of cans daily for the last two years. He works Thursdays Fridays 6-9 pm and all day Sat and Sunday but is off Mon Tues and Wednesdays which are the days he drinks most. He locks himself into his bedroom and won't come out. He refuses to interact with the rest of us and usually eats in his bedroom ( mostly takeaways delivered ) and there must be 100 empty bottles and dozens of half eaten takeaways in his room. I have tried everything to get him to stop but he is still in denial. He refuses to clean up his room but an odd time he does manage to get it cleaned up a bit. We managed to get him to a doctor who said he was depressed and gave him tablets ( can't remember what ones ) but he only got worse. She checked his liver and said it was ok. We took him back again a few months later the doctor had left and the new doc took him off the tablets saying he shouldn't have been on them. We had made an appointment for a councellor but he refused to go, still in denial. We tried tough love but it didn't work. He sleeps all day and drinks all night and is a physical wreck at 27 years old. He dropped out of college 4 years ago and we have asked him countless times why is he depressed and drinking so much but he keeps denying anything is wrong. He is due an operation on 16th May to realign his jaw so his braces ( wearing them ten bloody years ) can be removed and we are hoping this boosts his confidence. He is also deaf in one ear so we are getting him hearing aids in the coming months ( from my audiologist ) so we hope this also helps him. I know I will be told we are enabling him and should throw him out but we went through similar with our eldest boy who used to get violent from alcohol and smash up the house and anyone in his path. He is fine now 5 years without trouble and turned his life around has twin girls and living with partner and working so all good now. This is driving me and my family insane, we went to al anon all they offered was to join hands and pray for him. No matter where we turn we are told he has to help himself and I understand that but he isn't going to do it and I know some day I will find him dead.

I am sorry but I needed for two years to get this off my chest, I have had ten years of similar **** and been through a lot of trouble too much to go into here. How our marraige has survived I don't know and my mental state has been poor a long time even though I might come across as happy. I have had plenty counselling to help me but right now I am looking at my dear son slowly drinking himself into the grave or worse if he keeps going down.

I have a million tears shed for my boy and all I have inside is sadness because I cannot fix him.

I am not posting this for thumbs up support I just wanted to tell someone, anyone and you lot are it.


Sorry to read this Ageing. Sounds like Hell.

One thing I would take from your post is to try another AA. The one you went to sounds nothing like any I know about. They should be a safe place for people to share their experiences and hear positive stories from people who have been dry for a certain amount of time. It's also not really based on religion anymore (that was the original pretense) but the big book isn't really about that anymore. It's about finding your own reasons to stop drinking.

Go to another one, and don't give up!
User avatar
Turns to Stone
 
Posts: 8811
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:21 am
Location: Tony Almeida

Re: My name is .... and I'm ....

Postby prophet:marginal on Wed May 01, 2019 1:58 pm

Good luck V-M
User avatar
prophet:marginal
 
Posts: 28688
Joined: Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:54 pm
Location: It's a little early, but thanks anyway

Next

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Hammericanio, Slacking student, Wembley1966 and 8 guests

cron





Fatal error: ./cache/ is NOT writable. in /web/sites/kumb/kumb.com/forum/includes/acm/acm_file.php on line 103