Really nice people

Anything goes in The Snug, the GD's rebellious little brother. An off-topic den of iniquity for non-football/news related musings.

Moderators: bristolhammerfc, sicknote, -DL-, Rio, Gnome, chalks, the pink palermo

Really nice people

Postby Bend it like Repka on Tue May 14, 2019 7:47 am

I know, I know. If the world was full of them there would be no violence or war, no arguing and lots more generosity.

But why are really nice people just that bit annoying?

The previous female incarnation left my company a few months ago, she called everyone "lovely" rather than by their names, as in "hello lovely". Nothing was every too much trouble, if you got into some form of conversation with her she be offering to bring in spare ingredients, or garden seeds, potted plants, books or anything else she could offload onto you. Just once I wanted to see a flicker of mood, but nope, just endless happiness and that sort of constant apologising for absolutely nothing. Sorry to be in a doorway, sorry for asking you a question. But never sorry for being so.......nice.

We work on two floors and the new one, who I've only talked to a few times (all nice conversations of course) works on the floor below. When I go to lunch, I usually go out the back way down the fire escape past her window. When she sees me she waves. No just a quick Hi! type wave. It's a two hander like I'm leaving the dock on a cruise ship. Maybe the first couple of times made me smile, but now I'm getting that dread about it.

Maybe it's me. First office I ever worked in had a classic old tea lady. It probably started there. She was, well, lovely. After a few years it started grinding my youthful politeness to the older generation down, and eventually I became obsessed with the mental fantasy of sneaking up behind her while she was holding a full tray of tea, and screaming AAAAARRRGH!!! I just wanted to see her lose her **** for once.

It's probably me isn't it? I'm a bad person. No Christian soul. Am I going to hell?
User avatar
Bend it like Repka
 
Posts: 10973
Joined: Tue Feb 03, 2004 6:05 pm
Location: Shaking my head in despair at it all.

Re: Really nice people

Postby S-H on Tue May 14, 2019 7:56 am

It's not just you, I hate people, full stop.

Image
User avatar
S-H
 
Posts: 12763
Joined: Tue Jul 06, 2010 7:05 am

Re: Really nice people

Postby Samba on Tue May 14, 2019 8:18 am

Bend it like Repka wrote:When I go to lunch, I usually go out the back way down the fire escape past her window. When she sees me she waves. No just a quick Hi! type wave. It's a two hander like I'm leaving the dock on a cruise ship. Maybe the first couple of times made me smile, but now I'm getting that dread about it. It's probably me isn't it? I'm a bad person. No Christian soul. Am I going to hell?

Next time you go past her window have your knob hanging out of your fly. In fact pause while you twirl it around like a tassel.
I'll be amazed if she ever waves again.
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5818
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: Really nice people

Postby sendô on Tue May 14, 2019 8:48 am

It's all fake, Bendy. They all secretly think you're a ****.
User avatar
sendô
 
Posts: 28473
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2005 1:41 pm
Location: in the pessimistically optimistic camp.

Re: Really nice people

Postby -DL- on Tue May 14, 2019 10:20 am

Bendy, you're not a bad person. Really nice people are a sickly breed. I much prefer people that are just 'alright'. Have a bit of a b*stard streak in them, that can also be a bit of a ****.

However, really nice people are not a patch on the permanently happy and cheerful people. Those types I do want to commit violence against, just to see the ***** unhappy for once.

At least really nice people get the hump occasionally, but the perma-happy and cheerful can be ****ing draining. Just **** off away from me.
User avatar
-DL-
Match thread guru
 
Posts: 19266
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 8:43 am
Location: Biting my tongue so hard it's starting to bleed.

Re: Really nice people

Postby mushy on Tue May 14, 2019 11:21 am

Unless its a buxom wench serving me beer or cream teas in Devon, anyone calling me 'lovely' can **** right off.
mushy
 
Posts: 13536
Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 4:17 pm
Location: Kumb Poster of the year 2009

Re: Really nice people

Postby warp on Tue May 14, 2019 1:04 pm

sendô wrote:It's all fake, Bendy. They all secretly think you're a ****.

and that's exactly why it is annoying, they wouldn't tell it to your face!
User avatar
warp
 
Posts: 13647
Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:13 am
Location: I am everything about this site which is wrong... i don't give a toss about WHUFC.

Re: Really nice people

Postby DaveWHU1964 on Tue May 14, 2019 1:08 pm

Bend it like Repka wrote:Maybe it's me.

I'd hoped it was Bends. And then I saw some of the replies. :)
User avatar
DaveWHU1964
 
Posts: 11231
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2012 11:14 am

Re: Really nice people

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Tue May 14, 2019 10:57 pm

The vision of 'really nice people' portrayed here is indeed something that makes me suspicious. Genuinely nice people are the usual flawed, argumentative, moody and irrational people that we all are - they just happen to be better in more ways than they are worse. I think I'm a nice person, and I think most of my mates are nice people, plenty of them being nicer than myself, but not one of them is perfect.


I always feel the 'really nice people' as defined here are inherently dark inside - obscure reference here but take Victor Meldrew's next-door neighbour Mr Swainey. Always affable, always nice, always putting the same even spin on everything, but god knows what was going on behind those net curtains.


I'm not having a go at all Christians by any means, this is simply a situation that occurs for me specifically, but me and my brother are the only atheists in our extended family. So whenever there's a funeral or a wedding or anniversary, we all meet up, and there is virtually no emotion displayed by anyone other than me and our kid. Everyone else is unfailingly polite, friendly, cloyingly upbeat, and at least superficially displays no outward negative or questionning emotion whatsoever. I sometimes envy them to be honest, but at the same time i find it impossible to empathise with that whole 'stiff upper lip' spiel. To the point that if there was ever gonna be a serial killer in my family, despite my range of targets, i suspect me and our kid would be the least likely candidates!


I guess in short, 'nice' is better defined by deeds (and what's behind the deeds) than superficial behaviours.
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4217
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: Really nice people

Postby WHU Independent on Tue May 14, 2019 11:28 pm

Funny you should mention Christians and a dark side.

I work with a very committed Christian. She does a lot of work for the church, including feeding and helping the homeless, she goes to Calais on a regular basis to take food and clothes to the homeless there, collects and delivers stuff for the homeless, will always do anything for you, and will not let you do anything for yourself - i.e. if I go to make a cup of tea, she'll get to the urn first and make me one. If she can do it for you, she'll do it.

BUT, she has a dark side. She's paranoid when she is sober and when she is not, which is most evenings, that paranoia really shines through. An example: say Genesis is playing on the radio at work and some one says they love the band and I say " Nah never really liked any of their stuff, not my cup of tea," She hears "I hate Genesis and your musical taste is total *****" and get a real strop on. And gets nasty and barbed and won't et it drop. She'll go on and on. She also is an absolutist. I told a story at work - not to her - about 2 drunk women coming up trying to beg a can of beer off my mate, who had six in a bag. He basically told them to **** off and go back into the bar they just come out of and try there. Now I hate the homeless and so do all my mates. When she's drunk she's really nasty and bitter and tries to play one person off against another.

The other woman I know is another Christian who works with kids, and is employed by the church - through nepotism - and also helps the homeless, voluntarily works in food kitchens and food banks and when she is with her work mates, she's really helpful.

But when she has a drink, she's a bully, aggressive, condescending and vindictive. A pub she was in had a wifi controller for the music. She stole it, wouldn't give it back to the owner and started playing her own **** music most of the night. She steals things off people - hats, glasses, books etc - and downright refuses to give them back. Only Saturday she was in a pub and tried the wifi controller thing again and another woman had had enough and she had a fight with her! She's also in your face, loud and offensive.

I keep well away from both and am lucky that I have the option to do so.
User avatar
WHU Independent
 
Posts: 4175
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2007 11:35 pm

Re: Really nice people

Postby fjthegrey on Tue May 14, 2019 11:50 pm

Not to be trusted.
User avatar
fjthegrey
 
Posts: 18507
Joined: Mon Apr 14, 2008 3:35 pm
Location: Once More Unto The Cheese

Re: Really nice people

Postby WestHamByTheSea on Tue May 14, 2019 11:52 pm

WHU Independent wrote:Funny you should mention Christians and a dark side.

I keep well away from both and am lucky that I have the option to do so.


Interesting stuff Indy - sounds like a more extreme version of my family. FWIW, my family are lovely people and the stuff about inhibited emotions is basically the worst thing I could say about them (and they could say far, FAR worse stuff about me...well, by my definition they can't, but they should be able to!!!). But yeah, I think your examples are the far end of what I alluded to. It all essentially seems to me to stem from an inability to release a range of emotions within a normal, everyday setting.


In an admittedly glib interpretation of this, whenever I see a friend of mine on social media with a smiling selfie as their profile pic (especially one with all that glitter crap on it), I'm instinctively getting a sense of someone overcompensating for not being inherently happy. I do try to balance this negative reflex by reminding myself that not everyone is such a miserable c*** as I am, but even so, it always leads me to utter an instinctive 'hmmm' whenever I see it!
User avatar
WestHamByTheSea
 
Posts: 4217
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 8:37 pm
Location: Turning the TV off, making some tea, and saying modern life well it's rubbish...

Re: Really nice people

Postby Clucking Bell on Wed May 15, 2019 2:33 am

I much prefer lions to Christians ...... reminds me of an incident in my early teens when the Mormons came calling.

They'd been in the Upminster area for a few days and they finally figured out that at dinner time they had a chance of catching people between returning from work and going down the pub. They called one evening, my mum answered the door and entered into a theological debate with a young, American lad. This stretched on for fifteen minutes or so, thus interrupting dinner which broke one of my father's food related commandments. "Thou shalt not interrupt a family dinner" was second only to "Thou shalt clear thy plate."

Anyway, the following night another young, American Mormon called. My father threw down his cutlery, stormed to the front door and with his nose about six inches from that of the god-botherer said, "Listen sunshine. I'm a druid and I'm both a busy and hungry druid, so **** off!"

Oddly enough, that was the last of the attempts to convert the Bell household.

I also highly recommend this approach when having to deal with purveyors of old tut on Mediterranean beaches or anyone offering to tarmac your drive. While "no thank you" is more polite, it does tend to prolong the debate, whereas a good old "**** off" works wonders and saves time in the long run.
User avatar
Clucking Bell
 
Posts: 4859
Joined: Tue Jan 10, 2006 6:32 am
Location: Make piss ..... check ..... crossed arms .... check .... wife hates me ... result!!

Re: Really nice people

Postby V-M on Wed May 15, 2019 5:58 am

All nice people secret psychos.

Image
User avatar
V-M
 
Posts: 9603
Joined: Mon Oct 16, 2006 10:45 pm

Re: Really nice people

Postby westham,eggyandchips on Wed May 15, 2019 6:50 am

No such thing as "really nice people".
User avatar
westham,eggyandchips
 
Posts: 14213
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2007 8:06 pm
Location: Taking a walk with Anita Fifa...

Re: Really nice people

Postby Cockneyboy311 on Wed May 15, 2019 2:03 pm

westham,eggyandchips wrote:No such thing as "really nice people".


I disagree completely. I know a couple of blokes who are such. I don't find them annoying though. Maybe i would if i worked with them!
User avatar
Cockneyboy311
 
Posts: 7888
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 1:23 pm
Location: Fascination Street

Re: Really nice people

Postby Monkeybubbles on Wed May 15, 2019 2:32 pm

Have you ever thought that there might be a reason why people are overbearingly nice to you?

Image
User avatar
Monkeybubbles
 
Posts: 5917
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2014 12:00 pm
Location: Rumble, Brighton, Tonight.

Re: Really nice people

Postby chigwells finest on Wed May 15, 2019 3:10 pm

i suppose people have different ideas about being nice .

i was nice once , but i didnt like it
User avatar
chigwells finest
 
Posts: 9003
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2004 1:11 pm
Location: canning town most of the time

Re: Really nice people

Postby Samba on Wed May 15, 2019 9:57 pm

Monkeybubbles wrote:Have you ever thought that there might be a reason why people are overbearingly nice to you?

They want to get their hands on your valuables?
User avatar
Samba
 
Posts: 5818
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:36 pm
Location: I'd like a gazebo now..

Re: Really nice people

Postby Burnley Hammer on Thu May 16, 2019 10:04 am

Wouldn't say I'm really nice... but at the same I'm never not nice either. I'd describe myself as being in a constant state of emotionally flatlined nonchalance - which may be even more annoying to some people than really nice.

Biggest problem with really nice people is that they chat to you when you don't want to chat, and offer help when you don't want it. Then again, I'm stubbornly self-reliant and don't like asking for help with anything.
User avatar
Burnley Hammer
 
Posts: 5804
Joined: Thu Jun 21, 2007 12:19 pm
Location: was Colne, Burnley, Hull, Colchester, Norwich, Derby.... Now Nottingham

Next

Return to The Snug

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: White Goodman and 11 guests