Sh*t chant amnesty

[speculator]

We've never had a song I liked so much as 'He shot, he missed, he must be ****ing pissed - Billy Jennings, Billy Jennings'. Normally prior to ducking in the North Bank as the ball flew way over the bar. We could take the piss out of the players then. Now it's Carlton might be **** but he's our Carlton, so we sit in silence whilst he tumbles over his own feet for the umpteenth time.

[The Rebirth]

I hate anything that wasn't sung before the Premier League.

There you go you dour fossils......You'd soon pipe up if nothing was sung

[Pepin]

This thread is a disgrace.
Is there any song which would not offend anyone on here?
Either this thread attracted hypersensitive part of KUMBers or we have really became a laughing stock.

I would suggest not to sing at all so some of you are not offended.
UNBELIEVABLE. F..KING UNBELIEVABLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I was Pikey from south of the river, I would share the link of this thread to lagh off West Ham.

rant over

[Rio]

Having been to a couple of games for the first time in a year over Christmas, I was saddened at the crowd qualities that used to make going to games so much fun.

We seem to have no wit, no humour or any support for our players anymore, and the atmosphere at the Everton game was one of the worst I have experienced in a while. Our fans used to be witty and original with songs and chants but we seem to have an endless loop tape of poorly sung Bubbles, O East London and Who Are Ya.

No I don't go to games very often anymore being a few thousand miles away, and possibly I am not in the position to have a go at those that do attend regularly but the realisation for me was that sadly what I missed most was not the thrill of the live game and fellow fans, but the pie and mash and pub.

And yes the mancs, Spurs and the mickeys are far more entertaining fans than us - shudders with horror

Spot on.

We used to thrive on orginality and humour. Now we rehash everything.

I miss the days when every player had his own song.

Tomkins and Noble having virtually identical ones is an indication of how bad it is.

Tomkins should be 'theres only one JT'. Not overly original. But serves the purpose of bigging up our boy and pissing off Chelsea.

Joey O'Brien should be to the tune of you are my sunshine

Joey O'Brien
He Comes From Ireland
He makes films in Hollywood
Grindhouse was f**king rubbish
But Pulp Fiction was pretty good

[kayahammer]

I wish we would sing "were proud of you, we're proud of you, we're proud of you West Ham". Hardly ever hear this anymore.

Always loved that one back then...

[BSB1]

I once heard some lads behind me at a home game singing, every time they saw Sam come to the edge of his technical box they would sing "Fat Sam's grand slam ,speak easy!" From that tune in Bugsy Malone and they would do a weird dance waving their hand from side to side.

Each to their own I guess.

See, this is the sort of original **** we need. It's how we got songs like Ludo's or Christian Dailly's.

It was piss poor Saturday. Couldn't even get a decent take up of "Who the **** are Man Utd".
And "We are West Ham's claret & blue army" is starting to piss me right off. It should be the managers name sung full stop. Me and my lot have been persevering with it recently. We'll get there in the end.
BIG FAT SAMS CLARET & BLUE ARMY!!!

[prophet:marginal]

And "We are West Ham's claret & blue army" is starting to piss me right off. It should be the managers name sung full stop. Me and my lot have been persevering with it recently. We'll get there in the end.
BIG FAT SAMS CLARET & BLUE ARMY!!!

Totally agree.

I'm not Sam's biggest fan, but, even last year, I thought he should be named in that chant.

The team and the other support should think we're fully behind him.

[Oldun]

I blame the modern day music industry,does not produce good songs to copy,all the best ones are old pop songs changed to fit football.

[WestHamAlways]

I once heard some lads behind me at a home game singing, every time they saw Sam come to the edge of his technical box they would sing "Fat Sam's grand slam ,speak easy!" From that tune in Bugsy Malone and they would do a weird dance waving their hand from side to side.

Each to their own I guess.
See, this is the sort of original **** we need. It's how we got songs like Ludo's or Christian Dailly's.

It was piss poor Saturday. Couldn't even get a decent take up of "Who the **** are Man Utd".
And "We are West Ham's claret & blue army" is starting to piss me right off. It should be the managers name sung full stop. Me and my lot have been persevering with it recently. We'll get there in the end.
BIG FAT SAMS CLARET & BLUE ARMY!!!

I agree except for the Fat. It should be BIG SAMS CLARET AND BLUE ARMY.

As far as songs go, are we getting to the stage where we ned to hand out song sheets to fans before games?

I would love to hear more noise.
Being in the family stand is not the best place so moving for next season.

[geowhu]

I think some of the Chants have become a bit Repetitve recently , You do get the odd one off Witty chant from time to time , I personally dislike West ham till i Die , I dont recall hearing this before the Green St Film , i may be wrong !!! Lot of our Support is getting Older and dont sing as much maybe ,

[Hemel Iron]

I reckon the Sloop John B stuff will die out fairly quickly.

A couple of years every team had their own personalised chants to the tune of Tom Hark, now you rarely hear that and it's all the Sloop John B.

Soon enough something else will come along.

[trick88]

Its been mentioned before but heard it last night.. 'Lets pretend we scored a goal'

Pathetic IMO.

[bendavids]

'He left cuase you're ****, Robin Van Persie, he left cause you're ****'

It was funny when Sunderland sung it the first time on the opening day of the season. Quite why we were singing it last night I don't know.

[Essex bill]

I prefered 'Maruoane Chamakh, he left cos you're ****'.

[hammer_lad]

We hate tottenham more than you - this makes me cringe every year personally, but each to their own.

[LeeWHU88]

Its been mentioned before but heard it last night.. 'Lets pretend we scored a goal'

Pathetic IMO.

Quite like doing this, ****'s off the home support when they see that, even at 5-1, we can still have more of a laugh than them. Funny when you get to 6 and start singing "6-5 to the Cockney boys" and "5-1 and you ****ed it up"

There should be an amnesty that, if you feel the need to walk out the ground when the opposition team scores their 3rd then don't bother turning up in the 1st place. It's these same people that were giving it all large and singing at 1-0 and then shut up when they made it 1-1 and didn't sing again all game, once those ****ed off the rest of us left had a right good laugh.

[mushy]

'He left cuase you're ****, Robin Van Persie, he left cause you're ****'

It was funny when Sunderland sung it the first time on the opening day of the season. Quite why we were singing it last night I don't know.

Because we have no imagination and all we do is copy everyone else, think we are original and laugh out loud at our so called all round wit.
Its the same old same old, every game home and away.
The sloop John B songs have been going for what? 5 years now?
Yer modern day young fans just aint got it have they?

[Shrink]

RVP chant last night was rubbish in my opinion - I didn't join in. Calling them sh*t just mocks ourselves IMO.

We hate Tottenham more than you. It's pathetic. We don't. Makes us sound desperate to have a premier league rivalry. why do we give a sh*t?

That said - french jimmy saville chant was amusing.

let's pretend we scored a goal - we all paying hard earned money to follow the hammers - I heard this when we were 5-1 down - if we can't have a bit of fun now and again then I wouldn't follow West Ham home and away.

[the wren]

The best football song ever is ' Who the ****ing hell are you? ' It was so good in fact that the Welsh copied it and made a Hymn out of it and called it Cwm Rhondda (Wele'N Sefyll Rhwng Y Myrtwydd).

See here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5szdT6Cu8g4

True story.

[red iron]

Spot on.

We used to thrive on orginality and humour. Now we rehash everything.

I generally agree, although to be fair we had a few decent ones last year, Home & Away for Faye, Winston Reid's song, The Sam Baldock song among others, Demba Ba not so long ago

I'd argue it's a bit of a self-defeating cycle and as our song repetiour (no idea how to spell that!) shrinks, it gets harder and harder to make up new songs. The problem is that Bubbles is sung far too often just because it's one of few songs that everyone will actually join in with

In terms of opposition songs. Man U's nick knack paddy whack song pissed me right off... what a poor attempt at making up a chant... terrible.