Little things that irritate you

[10 Iron]

Toilets you cannot unlock from the inside.

And bogrolls that you cannot get to unroll

[sendô]

Nicola Sturgeon.

Utter cretin masquerading as a competent politician.

[George>>>>>Sam]

My birthday last week.

Same 'Number 1 Hammers fan in the world' card (complete with mini badge/rosette) from my mum for about the 17th year in a row. You can't really say anything.

I'm 38.

Congratulations for winning this prestigious award.

[Denbighammer]

Nicola Sturgeon.

Utter cretin masquerading as a competent politician.

You think there is something fishy going on?

[sendô]

Tesco, 7:15 this morning and still nothing in the bakery.

Is this store run by students or something?

[Philosophical Dan]

Did you know, "only" 20 minutes with slendertone "can" be the same as 120 abdominal crunches <cut to footage of man with 6-pack, ironing his shirt>.

**** me, if you can't do 6 crunches in a minute, no amount of electric shocks is going to cure your fatted-bastardness.

[WestHamByTheSea]

The phrase 'good honest food', as beloved of Ginsters and, of all things, a hot dog stand I saw today.

Why would food lie to me? If a Greggs pasty came up to me and said 'I'm actually a sausage roll', and then a Ginsters one came up to me and said 'well I'm happy to admit I'm a pasty even if he isn't', then perhaps it'd be pertinent. But such things haven't happened to me since the late 80's/early 90's, so it's a moot point.

Culinary inanities generally actually - 'handmade sandwiches', 'food to go', ffs...

[devonshire flu]

T

Culinary inanities generally actually - 'handmade sandwiches', 'food to go', ffs...

"pan-fried" something or other. What the **** else do you fry stuff in?

Oh and:

jumbo shrimp
boneless ribs
dry martini
vegetarian meatloaf

[sendô]

"Tomatoes-on-the-vine" or "Vine-ripened-tomatoes". So tomatoes that grew on a vine. Like all tomatoes?
"28 day matured steak" So the beef was hung for 28 days. Like it's supposed to be.

[OxfordRobbo]

The phrase 'good honest food', as beloved of Ginsters and, of all things, a hot dog stand I saw today.

Why would food lie to me? If a Greggs pasty came up to me and said 'I'm actually a sausage roll', and then a Ginsters one came up to me and said 'well I'm happy to admit I'm a pasty even if he isn't', then perhaps it'd be pertinent. But such things haven't happened to me since the late 80's/early 90's, so it's a moot point.

Culinary inanities generally actually - 'handmade sandwiches', 'food to go', ffs...

I had a Ginsters pasty tell me it loved me once and and it asked me why I would want to eat it. That was in the late 80s too funnily enough.....

[rare as rockinghorse shat]

Barking station.
The 'down' stairs are marked with an arrow. The 'up' stairs are marked with an arrow.
At the other end of each, they are marked with a no entry symbol.

So, people walk down the 'up' stairs and vice versa.

I really wish to bump into someone, have them have a pop, then me to point out their errors in front of everyone.

Annoys me each day I have to get the train.

[sendô]

Facebook style needless abbreviations into new words:
Totes
Marvs
Chirps
Excites

etc. Also people that put "that's how we roll"

[Hampshire Hammer]

My girlfriend is going shopping Saturday, John Lewis on Oxford Street for one. Now suggesting that we meet up in town in the evening and go for "a nice drink". I have pointed out that I will be at Wembley and either buzzing or coming down, either way not in the right frame of mind for a quiet drink in a wine bar - plus if I don't drive I will have had a few drinks by then. Mind you telling her win or lose I'm going beach fishing Sunday might not have been a good move.

[Czech Hammer]

My girlfriend is going shopping Saturday, John Lewis on Oxford Street for one. Now suggesting that we meet up in town in the evening and go for "a nice drink". I have pointed out that I will be at Wembley and either buzzing or coming down, either way not in the right frame of mind for a quiet drink in a wine bar - plus if I don't drive I will have had a few drinks by then. Mind you telling her win or lose I'm going beach fishing Sunday might not have been a good move.

I reckon you should go! If you are anything like me after the last Play off final, she will never ask you again

[ageing hammer]

These ponces who go cycling and have the dog on a lead. The poor mutt cannot keep up and his legs are going a mile a minute. Wake up you stupid eegits, a bike is FASTER than a dog ffs. I would love to tie the prick onto a car bumper and see how far he could keep up. It's really so simple either go for a cycle OR go take fido for a walk.

Another pet hate of mine is the athletic mums who INSIST on keeping up their running schedule (having a baby isn't going to affect me) and are seen sprinting down the street but they also have junior with them in a bloody pram!. Make up your fooking mind ...either go for a run and get the partner to mind the kid or stay home until you can go out for your run ON YOUR OWN.


Why are people always looking for attention.

[LeeWHU88]

These ponces who go cycling and have the dog on a lead. The poor mutt cannot keep up and his legs are going a mile a minute. Wake up you stupid eegits, a bike is FASTER than a dog ffs. I would love to tie the prick onto a car bumper and see how far he could keep up. It's really so simple either go for a cycle OR go take fido for a walk.

Another pet hate of mine is the athletic mums who INSIST on keeping up their running schedule (having a baby isn't going to affect me) and are seen sprinting down the street but they also have junior with them in a bloody pram!. Make up your fooking mind ...either go for a run and get the partner to mind the kid or stay home until you can go out for your run ON YOUR OWN.


Why are people always looking for attention.

Over Greenwich Park there's a group of about 30 of them that all go for walks together and after walking up a hill at the back of the park do a yoga session Quite good when they're quite tasty but it does scream of "oooo look at me and how fabulous I am, I might have a baby but I'm still looking after my shape" Your used goods love, no bloke cares how your body looks when they know your jack is as wide as a asteroid crater.

Also, people who do them 1 on 1 personal trainer sessions in the park do my head in. You're paying some **** money to tell you what to do when you can do all that they tell you just by thinking about it.

[NottsHammer]

The bird that is currently sitting next to me has just come in after two days off, brings her own phone handset and mouse in as she doesn't like using the company issue ones, is now cleaning her desk with wipes and crashing around as someone has dared to sit at her desk in her absence. Think she has OCD but cant be doing with her huffing and puffing at this hour of the day, she has also closed the blind as a speck of daylight could be shining on her monitor.

[sendô]

^ Control freaks. Normally the ones that insist on having the windows shut in summer when it is 100º outside because the draft is making them cold (often will sit the with a cardigan on, normally only cold because they are skinny).

[Sloffy]

when someone makes the tea with the same spoon they've just made the coffee with

minging

[Nap]

Men asking other men what they'll be wearing to the play-off final. We're men going to football not women going to a dinner party.