That's not a joke, it's a tragedy.somerset-hammer wrote:West Ham's season..
The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Thats a very old joke,by the way.somerset-hammer wrote:West Ham's season..
- vietnammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Going to have a flutter today on Dirty Carpet
Apparently it's never been beaten
Apparently it's never been beaten
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- ageing hammer
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- psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
My wife came into the lounge and asked why our two year old son was screaming.
"He kicked me in the balls," I snarled.
"He doesn't understand that it hurts," she said.
"He ****ing does now," I replied
"He kicked me in the balls," I snarled.
"He doesn't understand that it hurts," she said.
"He ****ing does now," I replied
- psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
"Warning: May cause stress, impotence, poverty, adultery, murderous impulses and any other number of ailments. " I said.
"That's a serious warning, what's it on?" Replied my wife.
"Wedding rings. " I answered.
"That's a serious warning, what's it on?" Replied my wife.
"Wedding rings. " I answered.
- psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.Johnny"s mother says, "Let"s not be too harsh on them... they"re bound to be curious about sex at that age.""Curious about sex?" replies Mary"s mother. "He"s taken her f***king appendix out!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Q: How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: More guns.
A: More guns.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
A woman says to her doctor I've got a problem 'down below' my fanny really stinks.
Lie over there on the couch, says the doctor, take off your panties and let me have a look.
This she does and the doctor examines her closely.
He then goes to the corner of the surgery and gets a pole with a hook on the end.
'Blimey doctor' she says 'what are you going to do with that?'
'Open some feckin windows' says the doctor
Lie over there on the couch, says the doctor, take off your panties and let me have a look.
This she does and the doctor examines her closely.
He then goes to the corner of the surgery and gets a pole with a hook on the end.
'Blimey doctor' she says 'what are you going to do with that?'
'Open some feckin windows' says the doctor
- OFT
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Heard my neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall.
Turns out her elderly mother had fallen and cracked her head and was knocking the wall with her walking stick looking for help...
I feel a little bit guilty about the w@nk I had now.
Turns out her elderly mother had fallen and cracked her head and was knocking the wall with her walking stick looking for help...
I feel a little bit guilty about the w@nk I had now.
- freelander
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The teacher was asking the kids how they had enjoyed Bonfire night
Sally pops up and says 'It was great we had sparklers, catherine wheels, toffee apples and a nice big fire'
'Ooh that sounds lovely' says the teacher 'and how about you Johnny'
'Yes miss it was great we caught a cat, stuck a banger up it's a*** and lit it'
Teacher 'Rectum you mean Johnny'?
Johnny 'Oh yes miss, blew it to fookin pieces' !
Sally pops up and says 'It was great we had sparklers, catherine wheels, toffee apples and a nice big fire'
'Ooh that sounds lovely' says the teacher 'and how about you Johnny'
'Yes miss it was great we caught a cat, stuck a banger up it's a*** and lit it'
Teacher 'Rectum you mean Johnny'?
Johnny 'Oh yes miss, blew it to fookin pieces' !
- chelmsfordhammer91
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
OMGchelmsfordhammer91 wrote:If you're here for the yodelling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
- swisstony
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Disney have bought the naming rights for the London Eye. Its going to be a Mary Poppins themed attraction.They're calling it The London Umdiddle Umdiddle Umdiddle Eye.
- psychoscoredthelot
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