The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I'm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
***
I found a wallet today, and as a good Christian I thought...
'What would Jesus do?'
So I turned it into wine.
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I bought my wife some crotchless knickers for Halloween, nothing sexual, just to give her a better grip on her broomstick.
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I went into a sex shop today.
I was really shocked to find out how much all my wife's vibrators cost!
She's been sitting on a small fortune!
***
I found a wallet today, and as a good Christian I thought...
'What would Jesus do?'
So I turned it into wine.
***
I bought my wife some crotchless knickers for Halloween, nothing sexual, just to give her a better grip on her broomstick.
***
I went into a sex shop today.
I was really shocked to find out how much all my wife's vibrators cost!
She's been sitting on a small fortune!
- Greatest Cockney Rip Off
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The Mother in Law’s drowning, I’ve informed Emergency Services. I hope they save her or it’s a waste of a first class stamp.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why did the hipster burn his mouth on a cup of tea?
Because he drank it before it was cool.
Because he drank it before it was cool.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.
And through it all, he offered me protection...
And through it all, he offered me protection...
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
An Irish electrician has been sacked by the US prison service for refusing to repair an electric chair.
He said in his opinion it was a bloody death trap.
He said in his opinion it was a bloody death trap.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
The boss of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic.
Paramedics said he could have done with another coat.
Paramedics said he could have done with another coat.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Why is Kevin Spacey so bad at Hide and Seek?
He comes out at the wrong time.
He comes out at the wrong time.
- Dover KUMB fan
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- ageing hammer
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Mods if not appropriate please delete.
Did you hear about the blonde terrorist.
She got mixed up between Semtex and Tampax and blew up the wrong kunt
Did you hear about the blonde terrorist.
She got mixed up between Semtex and Tampax and blew up the wrong kunt
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I went out and had ten pints of yogurt last night.
I was well Mullered.
I was well Mullered.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
You know you're masturbating too much when you drop your w@nk sock and the missus shouts from the next room "I hope that wasn't one of my good china plates!"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Greatest Cockney Rip Off wrote:You know you're masturbating too much when you drop your w@nk sock and the missus shouts from the next room "I hope that wasn't one of my good china plates!"
Cum a crocker?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I didn’t think my new orthopaedic shoes were doing me any good but I stand corrected.
- Dover KUMB fan
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
I was chatting to the tasty Chinese bird next door, & she told me she wanted a Rogerin'.
I was about to drop my trousers when I thought 'I wonder if she wants to rent out her spare room?'
I was about to drop my trousers when I thought 'I wonder if she wants to rent out her spare room?'
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread
Is she looking to expand her weaving business?Dover KUMB fan wrote:I was chatting to the tasty Chinese bird next door, & she told me she wanted a Rogerin'.
I was about to drop my trousers when I thought 'I wonder if she wants to rent out her spare room?'