The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

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psychoscoredthelot
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia




sod it im just thick
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

psychoscoredthelot wrote:ive got dis...
ive got desle
ive got dislekzia




sod it im just thick

on this lockersh :)
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Sauce! »

*First woman on the Moon:*

Woman: Houston, we have a problem

Houston: What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: Never mind.

Houston: Repeat. What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: Nothing.

Houston: Repeat again. What is the nature of the problem?

Woman: It doesn’t matter.

Houston: Can you tell us what the problem is please?

Woman: You know what the problem is.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.

I said "I can perform under pressure"

"Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"

I replied:
Mm ba ba de
Um bum ba de
Um bu bu bum da de
Pressure pushing down on me.

:oops:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by psychoscoredthelot »

^^^ :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Cockneyboy311 »

Samba wrote:The man who invented predictive text, died last week.
His funfair is next Monkey.
Love this :lol:
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by -DL- »

Just been to visit my mates new baby, they asked me if I wanted to wind him..

I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Mega Ron »

:D
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by sussexhammer74 »

That's the last time I use my Sean Connery accent to tell the wife to sit on my face.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by JerseyHammer »

I've just come across a joke and limerick book from 1946 and there are a couple of corkers in it:

An English teacher writes on the blackboard, 'I didn't have no fun on the weekend', she then proceeds to ask James, "how can I correct that?"

"Get yourself a feller"
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by The Old Man of Storr »

Did you hear the one about the Dyslexic Devil Worshipper -

He sold his soul to Santa .



Yeah , I know it's old .
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

Or the dyslexic rock star?
Drowned in his own Vimto
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ageing hammer »

You think swimming with dolphins is expensive.

I know someone who went swimming with sharks...........cost him an arm and a leg.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Dover KUMB fan »

As part of their team building to get some morale back, the Australian cricket team are to play a charity baseball match against a top American team.
Won’t be the first time they’ve played Tampa will it?
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Coops »

Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

Coops wrote:Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes.
*APPLAUSE*
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Monkeybubbles »

A friend of mine's just found out he's got 'the Big C'.

Dyslexia.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by Polaroid »

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?
You may be entitled to personal Ian Dury.
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by ereford ammer »

You can now get insurance for sex in the UK !

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and finally

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Make sure you are adequately covered !
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Re: The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

Post by pablo jaye »

Australian Cricket.
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