The Non Racist Crap Joke Thread

[woodford]

It's ok I don't think Monkeybubbles has clocked in yet.

seems to work on Edge but not chrome. i will persevere

[psychoscoredthelot]

I just split up with my girlfriend Lorraine, ive been having an affair with an older woman called Deirdre.

Anyway all's good because ...

I can see Deirdrie now Lorraine has gone...

works better with clara and lorraine

[Samba]

I just split up with my girlfriend Lorraine, ive been having an affair with an older woman called Deirdre.
Anyway all's good because ...
I can see Deirdrie now Lorraine has gone...

works better with clara and lorraine

Monkeybubbles will be the judge of that..

[Monkeybubbles]

Aha!

Monkeybubbles will be the judge of that..

07/02/19
Cock off Samba

[Samba]

Monkeybubbles will be the judge of that..

Aha!

07/02/19
Cock off Samba

Up yer bum!

[Westcliffspur]

Just walked past my local bookmakers and there was a sign on the door saying Open Sunday 11-4. I thought I would have twenty quid on that, it was open last Sunday

[Westcliffspur]

A Humberside city faces a serial killer who's stabbed and devoured three men, each called 'Alan'.

Police are profiling highly religious cannibals who will only eat Hull Al meat.

[pablo jaye]

A couple of crackers there Westcliffspur!!

[The Collector]

The Non racist crap joke thread.
Catering for Alzheimer's since 2010

You’re not kidding. I just laughed out loud at all three of those.

[Westcliffspur]

As a parent myself I can appreciate how proud Mum Heung-min and Dad Heung-min are of Son Heung-min. What player.

[Greatest Cockney Rip Off]

The police phoned me to tell me my wife was in hospital.

I asked how she was.

They said "critical"

I said "what's she complaining about now?

[Dover KUMB fan]

Probably been on before. I'm sure I will be told.
Went home early as its Valentines day. The wife was stood at the top of the stairs virtually naked.
"Look!" She said I found a pair of my old crutchless knickers, and they still fit!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her they were actually one of my old vests.

[ballantine]

The Non racist crap joke thread.
Catering for Alzheimer's since 2010

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?














To get to the other side.

[crankyhammer]

My wife came into my shed yesterday.

"You're wasting your time and money on all these inventions!'' she said.
it was at this point that the slap a twat auto 3000 proved her wrong.

[Hummer_I_mean_Hammer]

sorry posted a link thats not working, as you were

Sorry but I don't get it.

[scobie]

Stolen from the Times today:-

Viagra: It might not make you James Bond, but it will make you Roger Moore.

[Westcliffspur]

My wife came into my shed yesterday.

"You're wasting your time and money on all these inventions!'' she said.
it was at this point that the slap a twat auto 3000 proved her wrong.

Lol. Very good.

[Westcliffspur]

My Mother in Law is always complaining about the price of stuff. '£2.50 for a cup of tea and £1 for a biscuit! That's ridiculous!'

'Look' I said, 'I didn't invite you round here, you just turned up'.

[ageing hammer]

Stolen from the Times today:-

Viagra: It might not make you James Bond, but it will make you Roger Moore.

[Dover KUMB fan]

A vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on my door. Before I could speak he tipped a bucket of dogshit over my carpet and said, "If this vacuum doesn't remove every trace of it I'll personally eat what's left"...

I replied, "I hope you're hungry because they cut off my electricity this morning"