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The opposition view: Stoke City


Filed: Tuesday, 17th April 2018
By: Staff Writer


A chance to catch up with our friend Dave and his pals from Stoke's Oatcake fanzine as the latest edition of the OV reflects on last night's desperately dull 1-1 draw between two teams who, it's fair to say, haven't exactly lit up the Premier League this season.

Please note that this article contains explicit language - as always - so if you're easily offended, please click on...


"Absolutely gutted. A bloke who plays maybe five games a season scored that goal, yet we could see it coming. We rode our luck a hell of a lot, didn't really play that well (other than maybe Bauer and Bruno) and Lambert's substitutions were baffling. Why take off Bauer, seemingly our most potent threat on the wing and replace him with Crouch who needs crosses from the wing? Why did we bang it away every time we won the ball back and allow West Ham wave after wave of attack? Why did Butland feel the need to punch it? why can't Diouf hit a barn door?.....So many questions."
- Danstoke82

"I thought Lambert's hard work might have borne fruit and turned results round, but the fact is our teamwork is far poorer than the likes of Newcastle, Brighton, Huddersfield, and Burnley, and we have less talent in the squad than Southampton, Palace, and West Ham. Our defending has been shocking, passing third rate, ability to create and score abysmal. We deserve to be where we are in the Prem and in very serious danger of dropping out of the Championship next season."
- mrcoke

"Cowardly, predictable, structureless cack. Looked like a training exercise at times for West Ham. Lambert will be wanking himself dry at coming out of that with a point - he absolutely has to go, that was up there with Hughes v Coventry. Can't we sack him now and appoint the kit man as coach? Through some act of moronism Hart spilled a routine catch/push away and we had more than enough defenders on the pitch to see it out. Huge Joe Allen fan, but they looked lost in midfield today. I fucking despair..."
- smscfc

"We for sure never looked like taking the lead, and never deserved to take the lead, but that's football. All in all, we were dire. Absolutely dire."
- thegift



"Three points becomes one point in another relegation six-pointer. It's happened time and again. That is what has done us in if you want to know where the crunch is. Not enough grit in those scrappy shitty bottom of the league battles."
- potterblade

"Diouf; I would just love to see this man play with that enthusiasm and smile on his face if only someone had ever told him IT'S FOOTBALL this week not RUGBY. When will you get on a pitch and practice your shooting? We were as good as West Ham for the most part, lucky at times with the penalty call and disallowed goals but on the whole we are NOW good enough to play in this division. The whole world and his dog know we have no goalscorer though so someone please tell me why didn't our recruitment team know? On we go, hope springs eternal."
- rivival

"The false hope of that last 10 minutes hurts more than a 3-0 loss. The fucking football emotion rollercoaster..."
- somersetpotter

"Can't believe Andy fucking Carroll has put the final nail in the coffin. Geordie horse faced cunting twat."
- cozmick

"Paul Lambert has not inherited a great squad, but if his game management and substitutions were better we would be clear of the bottom three. Once again, the blame for dropping two points lies with him, his substitutions left us without a way to relieve the pressure. And the wrong man was marking Carroll after he came on."
- Glasgowstokie

"We are paying the price for not getting rid of Mark Hughes earlier - of course Lambert should never have been brought in in the first place. Coates has amply funded the playing side of things, there is no question that we should be where we are given the outlay compared to teams who are above us."
- pulisfan


"I knew we wouldn't hold out for a win. Desperately hoping that we could but I just felt it was inevitable that they would equalise, and entirely predictable when they did. IMO it was the final act of a dismal, abysmal, atrocious season which, although I was resigned to it before, has almost confirmed our relegation. No more chances now, we're gone! Desperately sad, bloody frustrating, and I'm really angry with the Board for allowing this to happen."
- DeesideStokie

"Oh fuck off. It's the hope that kills you."
- duckling

"Not being able to get to the game, that was probably one of the most difficult nights I've ever had watching Stoke. I felt sick all day, worse watching, elated when we scored and absolutely devastated when the equalised. There are more important things in life than football and Stoke City but sometimes it's hard to appreciate what those things actually are."
- davejohnno1

"Well Iíve woken up in the same foul mood I went bed in, thatís how devastated I am. I really feel for the person that pisses me off today."
- clyde





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