... and the transfer window has finally closed. Join us as we take a quick recap of the comings and goings this summer (with a bit of scurrilous rumour thrown in for good measure).
8th JuneSome of the natives shuffle uneasily as it is announced that Lee Bowyer has returned for a second spell. The majority however merely nod their heads in approval at another bit of sage business by Alan Pardew who makes his first signing of the summer. The Luke Young saga that has been running since April rumbles on.
14th June
Yaniv Katan shoots and leaves after just five months with the club. He returns to Maccabi Haifa, the club he left for West Ham.
15th June
Jonathan Spector moves from Manchester United to West Ham for loose change. Well £500,000 actually.
16th June
Elliot Ward departs in a £1m move to Coventry. Most people agree it is good business for a player who is unlikely to break into the first team.
27th June
Chris Cohen joins Yeovil for an undisclosed fee (thought to be around £250,000). Sad as it was to see another product of the academy leave his first team opportunities looked limited, to say the least. Everyone's happy this way.
3rd July
Alan Pardew denies reports that West Ham have rejected a £7.5m bid from Portsmouth for Marlon Harewood. Tottenham are also said to be monitoring the situation.
4th July
Luke Young will not be a Hammer. Rumours that he failed a medical proved to be wide of the mark; instead contractual differences (ie he wanted more than we would pay him) are later cited as the reason for the breakdown. Iain Dowie pretends he persuaded Young to stay at Charlton.
5th July
The busiest day yet. Paul Aldridge sets the tone for the summer by stating 'the Club's policy has always been to make no comment on new signings until they are officially registered as West Ham United players - and that policy will continue to remain in place.' Seconds later it is claimed that West Ham have had a £4m bid for Pascal Chimbonda rejected. Meanwhile Shaka Hislop employs his huge hands to wave goodbye for a second time; he moves to FC Dallas on a free - and Carlton Cole and Tye Mears check in from Chelsea and Preston respectively for yet more undisclosed fees (said to be around £2m for Cole and £1m up front for Mears).
9th June
Rumours that Bobby Zamora has got the hump over Cole's arrival spark stories in the Sunday's suggesting he wants out. Alan Pardew later reassures us all that the stories are cobblers.
10th July
West Ham have a loan bid for Shaun Wright Phillips knocked back. Chelsea are apparently willing to let him leave - but only if West Ham cough up his £60k per week wages. That was the end of that.
18th July
Some bloke called Paintsil - or is it Pantsil, or even Pantstil - joins the Hammers on the tour of Sweden. Early reports are promising. Pardew likes what he sees and later shells out a cool mill to sign him.
28th July
Welsh midfielder Carl Fletcher joins Crystal Palace in a £400k switch. Most conclude that Palace got the better deal.
3rd August
Talented youngster Tony Stokes joins Brighton on a month's loan.
8th August
Pardew's one in, one out policy continues as he signs George McCartney from Sunderland with Clive Clarke going the other way.
11th August
Mark Noble - excellent on the tour of Sweden - joins Ipswich Town on loan for three months. Many are surprised that he is allowed to leave (although West Ham craftily insert an 'instant recall' clause in the deal).
12th August
Longest-serving Hammer Steve Bywater finally ups sticks and joins Derby, initially on loan but with a three year deal waiting at the end of August. Should always be remembered for his contribution in our promotion season - and for the save he made against Preston in the play-off final, just seconds after replacing Jimmy Walker.
16th August
Pardew signs his seventh keeper in three years* when he brings Rob Green in from Norwich for £2m. The very highly rated Green will challenge Roy Carroll for the number one jersey.
22nd August
Aldo Duscher says that West Ham - along with Tottenham and three other clubs - have made him an offer. Alan Pardew later denies it at a fans forum.
24th August
Pardew confirms his interest in Fulham's Steed Malbranque after weeks/months of speculation. However the Frenchman wants £60k per week so something will have to give. He later signs for Spurs, we're all a bit distraught until ...
31st August
Pinch me I must be dreaming. Did someone say 'Tevez'? That Argentinian bloke, the new Maradona? Apparently so. And did I hear a 'Mascherano'? One of the most highly rated midfielders in the World? Whilst we were mourning the loss of Steed Malbranque To Tottenham, Terry Brown was doing a crafty deal with his old pal Kia to bring 'Carlitos' and 'Masche' to Upton Park. Cue joy, cue another excuse to have a laugh at Tottenham's expense. And for a change, Manchester United's and Arsenal's. Oh, and we signed a kid called Stech who has been hailed as the new Petr Cech, and who was said to be interesting Real Madrid. Not a bad day's work all in all.
* Just in case you're interested, the other six are Rami Shabaan, Shaka Hislop, Pavel Srnicek, Jimmy Walker, Roy Carroll and new boy Marek Stech.
Ins: Lee Bowyer (£500,000); Jonathan Spector (£500,000); Carlton Cole (undisclosed), Tye Mears (£1m + clauses); John Paintsil (£1m); George McCarthy (£600,000 + Clive Clarke); Rob Green (£2m); Marek Stech (undisclosed); Javier Mascherano (undisclosed); Carlos Tevez (undisclosed). 10 players in total.
Outs: Yaniv Katan (loan); Elliot Ward (£1m); Chris Cohen (undisclosed); Shaka Hislop (free); Carl Fletcher (£400,000); Tony Stokes (loan); Clive Clarke (swap); Mark Noble (loan); Steve Bywater (undisclosed). 9 players in total.
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