Latest Opinion

Next up we have an early London derby against Spurs. Of course it’s all too easy to laugh at Spurs fans and their obsession with the size of their club. Which is why we’ll carry on doing so.

Not nearly as successful as their nearest neighbours and bereft of the class and intelligence that you’d associate with, say, Dagenham & Redbridge, size is just about all they usually have to boast about. Which is why, no doubt, any of you unfortunate to have acquaintances who happen to support them will have had your ear bent about how after all of two games they are top of the league at the time of writing.

Their opening fixture saw them overcome a dreadful Liverpool side 2-1, though had the ref been in the mood to give the sort of penalty that the Scousers take for granted at home they might have got an undeserved point or even three out of the match. Spurs’ second win came up at Hull. Whilst five goals away from home is never to be sniffed at, it would appear that Hull have carried on where they left off at the end of last season when they were barely able to muster a point after the turn of the year. The suspicion must be, therefore, that Spurs are unlikely to be the last team to come away from the banks of the Humber having filled their boots.

There’s been some interesting activity in the transfer market. Darren Bent left for the Stadium of Light having discovered that there was no room for both a twitter and a twitcher at White Hart Lane. Some of the money received was spent on buying up anyone at Bramall Lane called Kyle. Naughton was deemed decent enough to go into the squad whilst Walker was able to stay put as he was immediately loaned back to the Hypocrites.

Also arriving in defence was Sebastien Bassong, whose signing was designed to combat injuries to Michael Dawson, Jonathan Woodgate and Ledley King. Bassong’s debut had a touch of controversy about it as he had only served one game of a two match ban picked up whilst playing for the Geordies. Even though he had signed for Spurs before Newcastle had played the second of those matches, he was deemed to have served the ban as soon as Newcastle had played the extra game, a match that was conveniently played before the start of the Premiership season. This appeared to defy all logic and common sense, though as we know to our cost there is little point in mentioning common sense in the same breath as the words “football authorities”.

The other major signing was the arrival of Peter Crouch from the disintegrating hulk that appears to be Portsmouth at the moment. The move marks a return to the club where Crouch started out as a kid. It’s fair to say that the lanky one has his limitations as a top-level striker. Someone that tall ought by rights to be a lot better in the air, though as someone once pointed out to me, that may be because being so much taller than everyone else all his life he has never had to learn to time a jump like shorter mortals. However it’s hard not to warm to the geeky charm of someone who, when asked what he would have been if he hadn’t become a professional footballer, reportedly gave the answer “a virgin”.

Of those players still with the club from last season ‘ keeper Gomes is a major injury doubt as we speak, having limped off after only 15 minutes of the midweek win at the KC with a thigh muscle problem. Early indications suggest that the injury may leave the Brazilian custodian of the onion bag on the sidelines for quite some time and, whilst former Chelsea net-minder Cudicini is a capable replacement, any prolonged absence for Gomes would leave Spurs short of cover in that department – or “down to the bare bones” as their manager is prone to saying.

Of course they could always enlist defender Benoit Assou-Ekotto to take over the goalkeeping duties with him probably having handled the ball more times in last season’s corresponding fixture than Gomes did. B A-E (as we will refer to him) was on the scoresheet alongside Bassong on the opening day and will start on the left with Alan Hutton likely to start on the right.

Key man in the visitors' midfield will be Luka Modric, whose continued presence in the Spurs line-up is said to be being monitored by some of the bigger clubs. The “Croatian Cruyff”, as nobody probably calls him, has benefited from a change of emphasis to a more advanced role as his career has progressed in England, and accusations of his being lightweight which surfaced during that hilarious spell when they faced relegation last year seem a long time ago.

David Bentley has been much in the news of late. Premiership footballers, even those who have sunk to the depths of playing for Spurs, are paid an absolute fortune these days. So every time I hear of one being caught drink-driving (yes you Carlton) I question the intelligence that that leads a player to think “I’ll save myself £20 on a cab fare and drive home – after all nobody will notice me in my Ferrari/Porsche/insert name of whichever warp-speed buggy is the vehicle of choice for professional footballers these days”. I know we all do daft things after a few jars (every time I see my ex-wife I wish I’d sobered up earlier) but really!

Up front they have gone with Defoe & Keane as the starting pair thus far. This has left Pavlyucenko and Crouch on the bench, the former having to date been limited to a few moments of stoppage time against the Scousers on the opening day. Whilst Crouch won’t be too put out at this state of affairs, it’s hard to see the Russian being overjoyed with the situation if the twitchy one maintains this selection policy rather than rotating his front men.

As for us, well the performance up at Molineux has been described by many observers as “thoroughly professional”. It’s fair to say that, with the exception of the first ten minutes of the second half when Rob Green was at his busiest, we looked fairly comfortable. In some ways it’s a bit of a shame that we were unable to carry that momentum into a midweek match against a shell-shocked Villa, although injuries to Cole and Ilunga will have benefited from the extra recovery time. I was particularly impressed with Noble last weekend – and not just for his (admittedly superb) goal. My worry when we play Spurs is that the young midfielder can often let his natural fan’s desire to put one over on them to get the better of him, which can cause him the odd disciplinary issue. However, if he can curb any over-enthusiasm he can be a key man this weekend.

The striker situation isn’t any better of course and the sight of CC limping off at the end of the Wolves match last week didn’t exactly inspire confidence though we assume he will be available this week. Another who will be there is Ginger Pele who couldn’t agree terms with Stoke this week. Collins had a decent game against Wolves and, although we seem blessed in the central defence department, I’m not at all upset to see him stay.

I think this one will be a cracker. Both sides will have confidence after the opening fixtures and I have an inkling that we are in for a treat which, on past experience, will probably mean a 0-0 draw of the very worst kind. I’ll therefore plump for an entertaining 2-2 draw this time round which will bring both clubs’ 100% records to an end!

Enjoy the game!

Last season: Lost 0-2 - an awful performance not helped by Assou-Ekotto’s handball on the line to clear a goalbound header from Cole.

Danger Man: Defoe - you know why.

Look out for: The usual anoraks may be in the wardrobe if the weather is ok, but there will still be shellsuits and dandruff a-plenty in the away end.

Referee: Mark Clattenburg - we didn’t get him last season. Few clubs did as he was suspended from duty amid concerns about his business finances.

* Like to share your thoughts on this article? Please visit the KUMB Forum to leave a comment.

* Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the highlighted author/s and do not necessarily represent or reflect the official policy or position of KUMB.com.