Echoes: March

Over the course of the past nine months, KUMB Editor Graeme Howlett has been writing a weekly diary for Echo newspapers.

Condensed into a month-by-month account of the 2013/14 campaign, today we take a look back at March of this year - a month for schadenfreude, terrace wit and booing wins...


March 7th

It's a sign of West Ham's recent resurgence that defeat at Goodison Park last weekend was mostly met with a shrug of the shoulders by supporters, rather than the mass panic that may had ensued had it happened a month earlier.

The narrow 1-0 defeat failed to dislodge United from the upper half of the Premier League, despite ending a five-match unbeaten run that stretched back to mid-January.

The only goal of the game - scored with just nine minutes of normal time remaining - came from Romelu Lukaku, Everton's on-loan striker who Sam Allardyce had identified as his main target last summer.

It was Lukaku's decision to join Everton instead of West Ham on transfer deadline day that scuppered Allardyce's plans to provide a top-class back-up for Andy Carroll - and we all know how that ended up!

Once again the Hammers were victims of a poor refereeing decision when Jon Moss - who I'm fairly certain isn't the same bloke that played drums for Culture Club back in the '80s – failed to spot a blatant foul on Kevin Nolan by Gareth Barry.

Had Moss taken the correct action Barry, who was the last defender should have been dismissed - and Everton would therefore have faced the remaining 70 minutes with only ten men. Whilst referee's have a difficult job to do, it's frustrating when these incidents happen time and time again.

* Oddly perhaps there is no equivalent of the German word 'schadenfreude' in the English language, which translates literally to 'harm-joy' but refers to pleasure derived from the misfortune of others.

However it was a commonly experienced emotion amongst a great many West Ham supporters last week when 'Cheating' Chico Flores ‘took one for the team’ from Napoli's Gokhan Inler during Swansea's Europa Cup defeat.

Flores, who feigned injury to earn Andy Carroll a red card when West Ham beat Swansea 2-0 last month did his level best to escape Inler’s fiercely-struck shot - but to no avail, as it struck him squarely on the bugle.

Which brings to mind another non-English word. ‘Karma’.

Carroll, who is back in the squad having served his three-match suspension was also in the wars when he dislocated a finger against Everton. Handily, the England striker provided both before and after pictures for the curious which you may find on his Twitter feed, should you be so inclined!


March 14th

It's to sunny Stoke we go this weekend as West Ham look to return to winning ways following the disappointing 1-0 reversal at Goodison Park a fortnight ago.

Just 15 miles up the road from Alton Towers - which happens to be closed for its winter break until March 22, so that's one less roller-coaster ride for travelling Hammers fans to worry about - the Britannia Stadium has been a relatively happy hunting ground for West Ham, with four wins coming from our seven visits there.

The most recent - a year ago this month - ended 1-0 courtesy of Jack Collison's first half, injury time strike. The Welsh international is currently out-of-favour and therefore unlikely to feature this weekend, as Sam Allardyce has a plethora of options available with a fully-fit squad at his disposal for the first time this year.

Although tenth place appears to be West Ham's ceiling this season - Southampton, a place higher in ninth enjoy an 11-point advantage - the financial incentives to maintain that upper-half position are huge. This year, the team finishing 10th will earn approximately £10million more in prize money than the team finishing 17th, for example.

* West Ham supporters were voted the wittiest in the game this week by a football prediction website which quizzed 1,500 football fans to discover the funniest terrace chants of the past decade. The winning offering - an ode by Hammers fans to Rio Ferdinand, who received an eight-month ban for missing a drugs test in 2003 - is sung to the Duran Duran song 'Rio': "His name is Rio and he watches from the stand..."

Which is moderately amusing, though from a claret and blue perspective I prefer older standards such as the re-wording of La Donna È Mobile for the benefit of Liverpool fans - "we've got Di Canio, you've got our stereo" - or the syllable-perfect corruption of Bing Crosby's festive classic - "I'm dreaming of a Frank Lampard, just like the one at Elland Road..."

That aside, one suspects the pollsters must have been oblivious to Wigan fans' song dedicated to their recent Cup win at Manchester City - "we beat Man City with Ben Watson" (to the tune of Starship's 'We Built This City') - or even Crystal Palace's "Don't cha wish your left back was Dean Moxey" (to the Pussycat Doll's 'Don't Cha'). Now that's genius!


March 21st

West Ham's perfect February appeared to dispel any fears of relegation that had hung over the Boleyn Ground. Sam Allardyce subsequently became the first West Ham manager since Alan Pardew to receive the Barclays Premier League Manager of the Month award and everything looked rosy.

However is there a very real danger that those four successive wins may have engendered a feeling of overconfidence in the squad - a sense perhaps that the hard work has already been done. Karren Brady's recent insistence that one more win should be enough to guarantee survival - for a team that has accrued just 31 points! - hardly helped the situation.

Since that wonderful run, West Ham have been to Everton and Stoke - and lost on both occasions. Whilst the Hammers rarely fare well at Goodison Park, the lacklustre performance at Stoke should be enough to start alarm bells ringing.

Four years ago, Avram Grant's side found themselves in exactly the same position as Allardyce's squad with 31 points from 29 games. They took just two points from their remaining nine matches, a sequence that resulted in relegation. With five of the top seven still to play this season, any talk of having beaten the drop is way too premature.

* This weekend, Manchester United come to town for what is traditionally one of the season's highlights. Over the years there have been some absolutely classic encounters between the two Uniteds - and none more so that last season's 2-2 draw in which the Hammers led twice before being forced to settle for a point.

Robin Van Persie was the villain that day as his 77th-minute effort earned the visitors a draw that, in truth, they barely deserved. The Dutchman is bang in form once again having scored a Champions League hat-trick on Wednesday night and despite being stretchered off during the game, looks set to be declared fit to face United at the Boleyn Ground on Saturday evening.

The Reds are far from the force they were under former boss Ferguson, with his replacement David Moyes seemingly never more than a game or two from the sack. West Ham have a great opportunity to pile on the misery for Moyes - although they'll still have to be at their very best to beat a side who may be under par but still very dangerous, as Olympiakos discovered to their chagrin on Wednesday evening.


March 28th

Sam Allardyce admitted that Wednesday evening's 2-1 Premier League win over Hull City was the first time he'd experienced his team being booed off having WON a match. His bemusement was shared by many football fans who visited social media sites in their droves to criticise West Ham supporters for their reaction at the final whistle.

Those jeering at the end of the game - who whilst noisy, represented a small minority of the 31,003 crowd -were unhappy at West Ham's inability to exploit the advantage gained by Hull 'keeper Allan McGregor's early dismissal. For the remaining 70 minutes or so, the Hammers managed just one shot on target and had to rely on a James Chester own goal to secure three vital points.

Allardyce didn't help his cause when his ill-advised response to his detractors was to raise his hand to his ear as he left the pitch. The incident evoked memories of former captain Nigel Reo-Coker responding to criticism by cupping his ear to supporters after scoring a vital goal against Manchester United in 2006.

Six months later, Reo-Coker was sold to Aston Villa for £8.5million. Not quite getting sent to Coventry, but close enough.

Of course, the issues with Allardyce go back long before Wednesday night. Despite consistently meeting his targets since joining the club in 2011, Big Sam's pragmatic approach simply does not appeal to a number of West Ham supporters - as Alan Curbishley, who shared a similar philosophy discovered several years earlier when his Hammers team - founded upon fishy Icelandic funds - was criticised for being too defensive, despite achieving a top-half finish in 2007/08.

Despite having all but secured another season of Premier League football at West Ham, the naysayers will still demand Allardyce's removal this summer in favour of a more adventurous, 'progressive' manager; a Laudrup, a Pochettino or a Martinez.

But as the latter has illustrated perfectly this season, the main contributor to success is not the manager - it's money, and lots of it! Martinez couldn't keep Wigan in the BPL last season yet this year, with better players and more cash his Everton team are in with a chance of qualifying for the Champions League.

Whilst that may always be a bridge too far for Allardyce and the current owners, what he does offer is steady progression. Only time will tell if he gets the opportunity to prove it.

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