The time traveller’s strife...

If a time traveller boarded his Delorean in May 2011, typed '2 February 2015' into the keypad and hit the 88mph required to fire up the flux capacitor in order to create a split in the space/time continuum (bear with me, I know where I’m going with this), he’d arrive at a time when West Ham United FC were sitting 8th in the Premier League and safely through to the fifth round of the FA Cup.

"Great Scott!" he might announce, before finding out Mr.Parker is plying his trade in The Championship with struggling Fulham.

He’d also be forgiven for thinking that all was rosy in the West Ham garden, as when he instigated his course to the future, the club was in a bit of trouble. It was recently relegated and the members of the playing squad wore the haunted looks brought about by regular defeat, dissension on the terraces and having to spend an entire year in the presence of the walking corpse that was Uncle Avram.

Fast forward to now and judging things as 'point-to-point', he’d surely think Sam Allardyce would be hugely popular with the fans – his name sung every week – a sense of sweet-serenity amongst the claret and blue hoards. But he’d be surprised to learn that all is not well.

Not as much as it could be. Not really.

You see, 'stuff' and 'things' tend to happen between points in time. "Sam arrives when we’re shit and takes us to eighth in the top league" isn’t the entire story. It doesn’t tell of the often fractious relationship between Sam and the owners. It doesn’t tell of the often fractious relationship between Sam and the fans. And it sure doesn’t tell of the often fractious relationship between the fans and the fans.

If I ran that time traveller over before taking him home to ensure his recovery, befriending him whilst unwittingly exposing him to lustful overtures of my daughter – his 'mom' – and he asked me to sum up The Allardyce Years, I’d suggest one buzz word would be “bollocks”.

As in: "You’re deluded and you talk bollocks," upon Sam hearing seemingly endless talk of “The West Ham Way” and fans chanting for football resembling anything other than what could be described as an aerial assault that would be enough to eradicate the ISIS presence in Syria within 90 minutes.

"Bollocks" as in "all this tippy tappy stuff is a load of bollocks," after a 3-0 win comprising of a dismal first half and a second that found West Ham actually passing the ball to feet in a manner that could be described as a little tippy-tappy (or "keeping possession" as it may be more commonly known).

He’s certainly his own man, is Sam.

Another relevant word may be "hoofball" – an old Allardyce cliché but not one entirely without merit, even if I don’t particularly subscribe to the thought that we’ve used nothing but that type of football in the past few years.

It’s been a mixed bag if anything – varying from arse-numbingly dire to decent (especially towards the end) in the Championship; arse-numbingly dire (away) to very decent (at home) in our first season up; and arse-numbingly dire to eye-wateringly dire (via White Hart Lane) last season.

This season has seen a change of tack, erring towards the free-flowing and attacking football fans crave, but then Sam still switches to arse-numbingly.....you get the picture.....at the drop of a hat. I’ll come onto that in due course.

Other words would probably include "defence" – Sam has overseen just about the best defensive unit I have ever witnessed at the Boleyn. "Team Spirit" – there is a togetherness about our squad that has rarely been replicated in E13. And "Wembley" – one of the best days to be a West Ham supporter in recent memory.

So why are things so fractious? For me, it’s about circumstances.

Sam has been easier for me to defend in the preceding years to this because I believe he has done just about as close to the best job possible in the circumstances. Sure, there have been mistakes, and sure, Sam doesn’t like to admit his mistakes, but there have also been times when he has absolutely excelled as the manager of this club.

I get why many people have been frustrated with his personnel and tactical preferences, but for me, it has generally been a case of ‘needs must’.

But now?

Now I’m finding myself questioning his faults and observing where I believe he’s going wrong more than I ever did before - even though we’re doing pretty well in the grand scheme of things. I think we are better than going to a not-that-great Liverpool side and playing a negative, containing game. I think we are better than lining up to predominantly nullify a turgid Hull City team at home, ending up lucky that we didn’t go in two down at half time. I think we have the team who could make this a truly memorable season.

But I think Sam’s personnel and tactical preferences will ultimately detract from that. In my opinion, Sam is a lot more comfortable when his team is defensive (bordering on negative) and I think the squad we have doesn’t quite fit that stance as well as his others have. We have already proved we can play attacking and goal-scoring football home and away, yet seem to have reverted to the kind of style that has Sam waxing lyrical about clean sheets, POMO’s and “respecting the point”.

Do I want Sam to leave?

It’s a tough question, because although just lately he’s frustrating the life out of me, his pragmatism is still a comfort blanket I can wrap myself in when I think of the times the club have self-destructed. I can’t see that happening with Sam. I’d also say it’s a huge gamble to change manager a year before one of the biggest upheavals in the club’s history. So no, I probably don’t want him to go. Not yet, anyway.

I’d like him to change a little bit and with more consistency, but I realise I am probably grasping at the largest pile of straws known to mankind in hoping for that. Time will no doubt tell how the Allardyce era concludes, but for what it’s worth I think he’s done a great job up to now and is probably going to be bogged down for the foreseeable future by some over-expectation off the back of our scintillating performances earlier in the season.

He does, however, have a certain belligerence about him and that, for me, is what puts a question mark over whether he is the man to take us forward from here. If only Sam would take the shackles off Sam – I think he’d be a better manager.

Anyway, by this time I’d have rambled on and this mysterious face from the past would no doubt say "bloody hell, mate, leave something as a surprise!" To which I’d reply: "If you want a surprise, wait until Nottingham Forest away in the Cup..." Then I’d mock him a little over his use of a primitive gadget named the iPhone 4 and his daft non-windswept hair/non mass-tattooed appearance, before advising him to do several things upon his departure.

"When you go home, tell as many West ham fans as you can to switch their internet off for a few years and prepare yourselves for the most un-West Ham-like team you have ever seen. Tell them to try and not be swayed by the extremist element of our support – those who either never gave Sam a chance from day one, or those who will never see any fault in the man regardless – and then make your own minds up about what kind of legacy Sam Allardyce leaves at the club.

"Either that, or you can have some great fun/tear your hair out whilst debating and arguing with fellow Hammers over all things Sam Allardyce..."

Now, just need to get him home. Does anyone know of a clock-tower and some lightning we can borrow?

(P.S – I realise that, as well-meaning as it is and a bit like Sam’s version of a 4-5-1 formation, my "unwittingly exposing him to lustful overtures of my daughter – his 'mom'..." joke doesn't really work. He’s from the past and I don’t even have a daughter. But I like it so I’ll leave it in. Call it my "Kevin Nolan" of the piece, if you will...)

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